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Life will never be the same. I'm clouded in a haze of confusion, lack of medical support or guidance, and sadness. I'm not able to earn income. My career is dead. The pain never really goes away. I take more pills and I get sidetracked temporarily but the sharp shoots of pain and aching all over stay present. I am overwhelmed by the grief of losing my life. My identity as an independent woman, an artist, an entrepreneur, is now a mere faded shadow in the tunnels of this new journey I'm on.